You might feel confused or overwhelmed if someone else says it wasn't your fault, although hearing this can also be a relief.From Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English affect af‧fect / əˈfekt /

You were made to feel responsible for someone else's actions, even though they had power over you (this is sometimes called 'transfer of responsibility').Įven though self-blame can be very hard to cope with, it can be a way your mind tries to protect you, so it might take time and support to be able to start feeling differently.

Someone else blamed you for what happened or acted like it was your fault.

You wish you could have done something differently at the time, even though you couldn't have.

It's how you've survived in an unsafe or stressful situation, such as living with someone who's harmed you.

It can be one way your mind tries to make sense of what has happened, and to avoid overwhelming feelings of anger, grief or betrayal.

Reasons for feeling self-blame include the following:

This can cause very strong feelings of shame or guilt, even though it wasn't your fault. People who go through trauma sometimes feel as if they are to blame. You can also access confidential advice about drugs and alcohol on the FRANK website. To find out more, see our information on the mental health effects of recreational drugs and alcohol. Alcohol and substance misuse – a way you might try to cope with difficult emotions or memories.You can also contact Samaritans 24/7 on 116 123 or. Suicidal feelings – including being preoccupied by thoughts of ending your life, thinking about methods of suicide or making plans to take your own life. To find out more, see our information on coping with suicidal feelings.To find out more, see our information on self-harm. This could include harming parts of your body that were attacked or injured during the trauma. Self-harm – hurting yourself as a way of trying to cope.

To find out more, see our information on bereavement.

You might feel that trauma has caused you to miss out on some things in life, which can also lead to feelings of loss. Many people experience grief as a result of how trauma has changed their lives.

Grief – experiencing a loss can be traumatic, including someone dying but also other types of loss.

Something affects me